12 November 2006

Sunday Best

Best surprise: Coming home and finding the sister-in-law (who is 63, not 53, but I never got back to fix that typo) has done nearly all of my ironing. Thinking, hmmm, maybe having international guests for two.whole.weeks isn’t so trying after all.

Best sound: Toss up between Son #2 burping the alphabet for his brothers’ edification, and Son #3 singing ‘Morning Has Broken’ at top speed. (Morninghasbrokenlikethefirstmoooorningblackbirdhasspokenlikethefirstbirdpraiseforthesingingpraisefortheetcetcetc …)

Best communication: A note, left on the kitchen bench for me. Dear Suse, would it be possible for you to do our washing today, as we are running out of clothes?

Best op shop find: A set of twelve no. 27 glass Fowlers Vacola preserving jars. I stopped in at FV headquarters at lunchtime the next day and purchased twelve rings and lids, and I am so going to be doing heaps of domestic housewifey bottling this summer.

Best dummy spit: Exhausted and feeling like a freaking domestic slave (see dot point three), overwhelmed with all there is to do while others sit around on holiday, reading books and watching me cook and do laundry, I opened the dishwasher to put the dirty mugs and cups in, (as in, inside, not next to), the door sprang shut on me, grazing my wrist, drawing blood and generally being the proverbial straw, camel, etc. I swore viciously, opened the dishwasher door, slammed it shut as hard as I could for good measure (cracking a glass and plate within), burst into tears and went and sulked childishly in my room. The only people to witness my meltdown were my poor traumatised children.

Best blogging effort: I am not participating in this NaBloPoMo thingie, but you may have noticed that I have actually posted every single day in November thus far. This is because blogging is what is keeping me sane right now. Thank you, internets.


Tomorrow, another recipe.

Or cows.

Watch this space.


Bec of the Ladies Lounge said...

Holy snapping duckshit woman! How complicated is your washing machine? It must be a bloody ripper to preclude the obvious "youknowwherethedamnlaundryis" response to 'Best Communication'...

Now I know why you were so busy on emails this morning.

{{{internet hugs}}}

kt said...


Can you hear it?

I'm making sympathetic "tsk-tsk"s and clucking and shaking my head in disbelief.

There there. We love you. AND we know how to do our own laundry (or wear things more than once, for heaven's sake!)

Looking forward to listening/reading whatever the rest of the month make you feel like saying/typing.

sueeeus said...

Umm, my dear, is it possible there might be more going on than you think? I sort of got a little (BIG) surprise myself this week, and, ummmm, straws that break camels backs and such... ...just saying...

littlejennywren said...

Oh you poor thing. Much as it is lovely to see relatives, two weeks is really stretching it isn't it. How much longer are they staying? You need to do something just for you and then you will be able to face doing everything for everyone else. Perhaps they are secretly hoping you will ask them to help and they don't want to tread on your toes.
I will remember this good advice when my relatives come to stay at Christmas time. Remind me if I forget.

BabelBabe said...

A wee suggestion, dear one:

Dear Washing-Needed Folks:
Fuck off and die.
Much love, Suse


Thinking of you, sweets. The least they can do is take you out for a lovely dinner somewhere posh and exciting.

Also am digging Morning Has Broken at top speed : )

herhimnbryn said...

Note to house guests


Stjernesol said...

So well written!

But seriously... can't they do their own loundry???

Your washing machine seem dangerous!

Sending you some tea and cookies, to calm you down :)

velcro said...

if they can work the iron they can figure out the washing machine. leave them a note carefully taped to a box of washing powder apologising for not having the time but perhaps they could bloody well do it themselves.

morning has broken at full speed? best way to hear it I think

Kim said...

In my current state of mind, they're lucky their clothes weren't washed and cut into nice little squares of nothing.

And doing your ironing does not cancel out such notes OR women of that age wearing g-strings. EWWWW.

Quite frankly, if I'm not walking around proudly with VPL by the time I'm 63, then what the hell has the previous decades been for???

Stomper Girl said...

Good dummy spit. Nothing like laying into inanimate objects only to have them bite you back!

Houseguests are hard work. I'm so glad mine have left.

Your kids won't be too traumatised, surely? It's good for kids to see Mummy has feelings too. Reminds them not to tread all over you. And sometime in the next week, one of them might come up to you with a little flower or something to make you happy and it will too.

Martina said...

I do think that you need to give your guests the full experience holiday in Australia and teach them how to do laundry the down under way! She has figured out how to use the iron,good for her! Now she needs the FULL laundry experience! 63 in a thong! Even more yucky!!

Stomper Girl said...

PS. "Holy snapping duckshit, woman" ????
Can I please use that, Bec?

tiel s-k said...

i so love the dummy spit!

blackbird said...

my dishwasher attacks me ALL THE TIME.

they're evil...

(dw's and houseguests)

meggie said...

I know it was traumatic for you!
But I got the best laugh out of your dummy spit.

What is VPL? I'm 63, am I missing something??

MsCellania said...

Fish and houseguests STINK after 3 days. Our standard response to anyone coming to stay is "LOVELY! And what THREE DAY/NIGHTS may we mark in our calendar for you?" Which ususally gets a stunned silence reply, then a fumbling with the calendar.

I hope to still be in decent enough shape when I'm 63 to be wearing thongs. I plan on it!

Big huge, soft HUGS to you, and YES on encouraging guests to make dinner reservations! Don't leave folks in the dark about your feeling put upon - ask for help.

Eclair said...

I was going to pound something out but found that everyone else here got to it first!

Unless you issued a full-maid service invitation I can't think of a single reason to be doing THEIR laundry. In fact, they should be helping with yours - in return for putting them up, cooking, entertaining etcetera.

So glad you posted this. My MIL is threatening another visit and I had nearly weakened and said yes to three weeks!

You might just have saved my Christmas!

Isabelle said...

Very cheering post! (and I need cheering at the moment). The trials of life...

Jan said...

If she has gained 10 years in age (even if just typographically), the woman should be wise enough to know that her laundry gets done by her. I'm assuming that since she can use an iron and leave notes on the table that she is not currently on a holiday to recover from a debilitating illness. In which case wearing a thong,(shudder) would be all wrong. The best outcome from all of this? You will not be raising children who will behave this way.
Forgive me for not introducing myself first, (her behaviour was so outlandish I forgot my manners!) I've been lurking for a couple weeks. I enjoy immensely your writing of politics, and knitting. I live in Michigan, USA., and am a new knitter, love to cook, and love dogs.
Hang in there, think of all the material you will have for the blog when you can think of nothing else. And remember, there are many of us who sympathize.

Jo said...

I feel your pain ...
Unfortunately ....

Janet said...

I thought you might be doing NaBlo, but in secret... As for your houseguest situation, I've never heard such a thing as doing their washing.. but it could be worse, we once had the houseguest from hell who committed all sorts of other houseguest transgressions over a 2 month period. Yep, 2 months. More than one dummy spit I tell you.

And burping the alphabet, cool. Glad to hear you got some rain.

Kim said...

the thong wearing 60+ year olds? ewwwww

Liz said...

Please send your sis-in-law to my house! I HATE ironing with a passion.

I do like cleaning kitchens, though- perhaps we could do an exchange?

My float said...

They're not house guests, they're feudal lords.

Here's a suggestion: toss in all the clothes and drop in a bottle of bleach. Or mix whites and colours. Using hot water.

Here's another suggestion: move out for two weeks, with loads of books. It'll be worth the expenditure.

Either way, they'll get the message.

I'd eat my own knickers before I asked anyone else to wash my clothes for me! (Blergh. Let's not even go there!)

I think your sulk was warranted.