21 November 2006

Thanks for the sock compliments, but really ...

Oh you are a bad, bad bunch of internets.

Forty seven comments (!), beginning by assuming I have read the diary, then suggesting I edit it with a red pen before returning it, and finally escalating to the suggestion I set up a PayPal account so you can all provide incentives for me to publish it. (Very entrepreneurial, that one).

You deserve to be sent to bed without any supper. Yes, you know who you are.

And instead of diary extracts you get another sunrise picture. Not even of the sunrise, but an interior shot, glowing with wholesome, sunny goodness.

sunrise with bookshelf

That’ll teach you.

Now if you’ll excuse me I going to don my bonnet and take a cloth-covered basket of muffins to the poor.

21 comments:

Kim said...

My Nan had those tumblers. I loved drinking from them and trying to drink just enough that it would get to the lines that divided the different patterns.

Yes, I as a worrying child.

velcro said...

that wouldn't be the diary peeking out right at the very end of the shelves would it?

Lazy cow said...

I just assumed you'd read it ( *I* would have!)
That row of gold-tinged books has me itching to catalogue them on LibraryThing for you.

Martina said...

Oh, thou, purest of mind and of deed! I kneel at at thy feet and beg forgiveness!! ....I am not worthy.... ahem... (you be funny lady!)

blackbird said...

did I even MENTION the diary?
NO.

sign me
SAINT BLACKBIRD.

Joke said...

I liked the cut crystal tumblers, suitable for liberal lashings of ardent spirits.

-Mr. Entrepreneurial

P.S. You're doing a good job of building up demand. Have you considered what you'd buy with the PayPal proceeds?

P.P.S. Upon further reflection, I suggest you post the diary on eBay. I'm sure you could use, say, a new car (one of those hybrid one, so that yoyu may rationalize it and assuage any pangs of guilt...) or perhaps fund the pruchase of several banana plants.

Badger said...

So ... you're going to wait and post excerpts over the holidays, then? Good call.

--erica said...

You are very good.

jorth said...

Look at all those lovely books!

Oh, and I wouldn't be reading the diary for any laundry tips, as she obviously doesn't know how to do it!

MsCellania said...

dollars to donuts that diary was full of kvetching and bellyaching. With barely a positive thought.

I'm thinking selling it by the page would be the most lucrative. Like, selling a set of rare-ish dishes by the plate and bowl v. placing the entire set up for bid at once.

I am just saying. A 'fer instance', so to speak.

I would be twiddling my toes in mid-air with elation after the pure shit they put you through. But, maybe not? As now you've got to send it back, and she'll know that you know that she knows you've read her *cough cough* Innermost Thoughts.

You know? Forgetting her damn diary was the final slap, actually! THE BITCH!

OH I just thought of a good one. Ask for a description. Then gasp and say "Oh Dear Me! That book got wrapped up and sent to _______ (another set of Mr. Soup's relatives) along with some other books and hand-made goodies for Christmas! Oh dear.... " The shrieking and screaming on the other end will be worth every pair of their knickers you handled.

And I will now (most likely) leave you alone re said diary. I think. Most Probably.

Stjernesol said...

I'm innocent, I never said a word about the diary ;)

But I did mention those wonderful socks of yours!

And you know what, I'm actually trying to knit!! God help me...

:)

Stjernesol said...

and oh, I really liked that picture!

sooz said...

While I completely understand the desire for both revenge and a bit of satisfaction, at the end of the day not reading the diary is in fact an act of self-preservation. I heartily congratulate you for upholding the lesson all sneeky teenage girls should learn young.

No matter what you find out when reading such a tome, you can't do anything with it - without betraying your own dirty deed. So you are bound not just to knowledge you have to pretend not to have, but guilt and remorse for having sunk so low.

Of course I would make her sweat for a while before I returned it (let her think the worst for a while), but rising above temptation does more for your self-esteem in the long term thant he instant gratification of humiliating her.

And one has to speculate (in good psychoanalytic form) what allowed her to leave such a treasure behind? Did she subconsciously want you to read it so you would know what she had to say without her needing the courage to say it out loud and be accountable? In which case reading it only gives her what she wants anyway.

Do you have a spare bonnet for me??

Elizabeth said...

I righteously refrained from commenting on that last post (you all did it so well before me!)

If you do offer muffins to the poor, I think in the Martha Stewart send-up version, you are supposed to ask for the basket back.

A little peek at an entry wouldn't go amiss, you know...and we promise not to tell

herhimnbryn said...

I want to stand in front of that book case ( isn't 'book-case' such a delicious word?), run my index finger along the book spines and pull out a book and read.
What a glow.

h&b said...

God, your home is gorgeous.

zephyr said...

Rats!! i was even going to offer you a bribe, like several pounds of bananas...oh well...i do think the photograph of sunset light on cut glasses is much nicer!! However, when/if you do put the diary in the post, please send it COD!!

capello said...

nanny-nanny-boo-boo i didn't say anything about the dia-areee.

now, where's my f'ing halo?

telfair said...

Lovely picture.

While your faithful fan base would LOVE to hear about the contents of the diary, I fear that your in-laws would suffer swift and violent reprisals if the diary contained anything except glowing, flattering statements about our beloved Suse.

Katya said...

All your Sartre books are together in one place! My family ignored me when we moved into the house and our books are shelved willy-nilly. It drives me crazy. That was a lovely picture by the way.

Surfing Free said...

Come on! You know you want to share it with us ... you are just being a pious tease now ;)
It's a pretty picture and all, but it's not the bitchy ramblings of a terrible houseguest, now is it?