27 February 2007

a short story about white rugs

brick floors

Brick floors are hard.

on
feet
knees
bottoms.

Hard.

feet


We need rugs. You know, to soften the harsh edges of our modern, unforgiving lives. Heh. And to reduce the spending on bandaids.

We already have a few rugs. Patterned. Coloured. Pretty! But we need more.

(Bricks are hard).

So. We purchase pleasant woollen ones. White. From Ikea so we don’t have to remortgage the house.




The dog runs into the house.

And vomits.

Onto the white rugs.

He manages to hit both white rugs, his aim is so fine.



He misses the patterned rugs completely.

And the bricks altogether.

36 comments:

velcro said...

feel your pain!

own two cats. bought new couch. within a week one cat had vomited on couch and the other was hard at work shredding it.

tut-tut said...

Though your rug looks very cosy, pre-catastrophe; what lovely feet you all have!

blackbird said...

The moment I saw the title I thought: oh! but they LIVE outdoors!
and then I read more and thought:
well, of course Ikea, we can't live without Ikea...
and then, ack, the dog...well...yes.

Kim said...

Dogs suck. The end.

Joke said...

1- Thanks for reminding me why I am adamantly pet-free.

2- Who knew you could do vers libre?

-J.

Badger said...

Yeah, that right there is reason #473 why we don't have a dog.

And we don't even HAVE white rugs.

jojo* said...

Well, if it makes you feel any better, I'm waiting until my cat dies to buy new bedding, since she vomits on it at least once every couple of weeks.

danielle said...

furkids are so wonderful about their aim and/or choice of locations. But i wouldn't trade 'em for the world! :-)

Elizabeth said...

All I can say is - Tanned Toes.
I long for tanned toes.

capello said...

argh!

perhaps we should all be impressed though. anyway you can make some money off your dog's amazing projectile vomiting skills?

herhimnbryn said...

Oh my S... a shout of laughter here.
On first arriving in Oz I went to Ikea and bought the same white rug ( oh, innocent transplated pom). We live on a bush block with earth sand and gravel.....despite removing shoes, all the bush decided to come in and live on the rug. I resented vacuuming it...it now lives in the garden.....covering the compost bin.

Your photos as usual are great.

ThirdCat said...

vomit would be very hard to clean from between the cracks in the bricks.

Could that the the bright side?

Dy said...

Chuckling here, this is sooo true - what is it with animals and their need to puke onto fibre. Even if I manage to shuffle my dog outside before she erupts, instead of heading for a garden bed to puke, she's heads straight for the old piece of carpet she lies on and does it on there. Odd creatures.

shula said...

Forgive me for laughing...

But, as you well know, I happen to know what it takes to keep a rug white where you live.

And it isn't pretty.

Eclair said...

Ewww! Poor you!

We put beautiful cream coloured carpets into our last house - last thing we did before putting it on the market in gorgeous show-home condition.

Woke up next morning to find that our foul old cat had spent the ENTIRE NIGHT wiping his bottom on the carpet. In every room. Skid marks.

telfair said...

I have a similarly tragic story involving hardwood floors, a new plushy living room rug (v. expensive), and a cat with a chronic upset tum.

*sigh*

meggie said...

I laughed about the vomit- sorry.

But when I read Eclair.. I roared out with laughter. Sorry again...hahaha.

Surfing Free said...

Sods Law, lovey.

Whenever my kids spill something it splashes directly onto the sofa and not onto the easy-to-clean polished wooden floors. Even if they happen to be sitting on the floor when the catastophe happens.

It's a natural law of the universe ... or something equally as irritating to mothers.

Paisley said...

oh no! how infuriating.

Good luck with the clean up.

h&b said...

Bloody hell !

Cats that eat cheap orange-y coloured dry food is bad. It contains the same dying agents you find in teenage vodka&orange vomit stains.

Never comes out
Never.

Hope you had better luck ...

littlejennywren said...

But if the dog had vomited on the patterned rugs you might not have seen it and then you would have trodden in it in your bare feet and it would have squelched up between your toes and that would truly have been disgusting.
He did you a favour.

BabelBabe said...

ha! I feel your pain. But I am laughing too.

sooz said...

Yeah, I have that exact same rug. Now folded under Amy's bed for the same reason. Only my vomiter only has two legs, not four. I must say when we chose our living room rug vomitability was a key selection criteria and thank god or it would have been a monumental waste of money. Good luck with that.

Stomper Girl said...

I'm not surprised. White clothing and furnishing have a magnetic pulling power for vomit, red food or textas.

Katya said...

I'm like meggie -- I couldn't help myself, I laughed and then I read eclair's post and laughed out loud!

Susan M said...

Oh, I almost wet myself laughing, and then to read what eclair said...I was writhing. Gosh I've missed reading your blog. Our computer crashed and burned several days ago. I'm having a sneaky quick fix at work Shhh.

elena jane said...

no pets, just kids, love ikea, love that rug (but white??), love the tanned toes, the brick, sorry about the dog's aim!

we have hardwood, one old natty rug, can't do wool rugs tho! :(

jorth said...

Both rugs? Hmmm... is your dog trying to tell you something?

GoTA said...

Those rugs - the same as you get from IKEA - are about a third cheaper at Spotlight. Just to make you feel even better...

Isabelle said...

What a beautifully told story. Wonderful comic timing. I knew there was a reason we don't have a dog. I was thinking of getting a cat, though, but maybe I'll think again..

White rugs do seem a bit optimistic with children and dogs and... well, people, really. What a nice positive person you must be!

My float said...

Don't you hate that?

Mind you, last week small child decided to "squat and deposit" on the ugly cream mat outside the bathroom, which was preferable to having him do it on the cream carpet!!

Anonymous said...

We had new cream wool carpet laid - we HADN'T even had a chance to show it off - the new smell was well, new carpet smell - so was the cat vomit right in the middle of it!!!!!!!!!!!

Gina said...

So pretty!!

daintee said...

doesn't this just figure? murphy's law, eh?

String Bean said...

It was the same way with our dog (r.i.p. Maxwell). Running into the house to poop all over the white rug in our front room when it would've been easier to clean off the hardwood floor that covers the rest of the house. Great. And these are the things I remember about my puppykins.

peter kenneth said...

Thank you for sharing yours thoughts with us!! pictures are indeed amazing!!
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