4 August 2007


Scene 1
8am: bathroom. Suse in the shower, Son #1 cleaning his teeth.
Suse: [leaning out of the shower and shouting slightly hysterically because she doesn’t have her glasses on] Oh god, if Mrs Weasley dies I’m going to be sending hate mail to J K Rowling. Does Mrs Weasley die? DOES SHE?!
Son #1: [enthusiastically, but muffled, due to toothbrush] D’you want me to tell you?!
Suse: No! NO! Don’t say a word!

Scene 2
Evening: in front of the fire, Soup Family all present and reading.
Suse: [looking up in dawning horror] Oh god, I bet the whole of Hogwarts is a Horcrux, isn’t it?!
Son #1: [excitedly] D’you want me to tell you?!
Suse: No! Shut UP! Don’t say a word!

Scene 3
Ten minutes later.
Suse: Oh god, I just know that Snape is going to turn out to be a good guy. And THAT means Dumbledore is really a BAD guy, isn’t he? Oh god oh god oh god I can’t bear it!
Son #1: [desperately] D’you want me to tell you?! Please, can I tell you?!
Suse: No! Be quiet! Don’t say a WORD!

Scene 4
Next morning, 8am: kitchen.
Suse: Oh god, Lupin is gonna die!!!!! I’m sure!
Son #1: [spilling his porridge in his haste to answer] D’you want me to tell you?!
Suse: Shut uuuup!
Son #1: [flapping hysterically] Will you hurry up and FINISH?! I NEED TO DISCUSS IT!!!! Oh god I can't BEAR it!!!!!!

Scene 5
Tonight. 10pm: Son #1’s bedroom.
Suse: [hissing and wailing at the same time] Wake up! I finished! I need to talk to you!! Oh god, wake UUUUUUUUUPP!!!!!


luv Abby said...

thats so cute.... I a reading it S-L-O-W-L-Y thanx to my 10 month old..... lol
luv Abby

sueeeus said...

Too hilarious! I'm so far behind on HP. I think I've only read the first three. Must catch up!

sueeeus said...

p.s. I love that your entire family reads by the fire. It's so Norman Rockwell. Your home life sounds so idyllic. I'd be jealous if I didn't adore you!

Badger said...

HAHAHA! The only reason I managed to read it so quickly is that DH read it before me, and he kept giving me this LOOK. Like he couldn't bear NOT telling me what happened. I just knew that if it took me much longer to read, he'd let something slip.

BabelBabe said...

you should have called Pittsburgh : )

you know, i was feeling icky today, slogging through work because i am not quite icky-feeling enough to call off...but reading your post made me feel better. You are a miracle worker! (No, she's a witch! Burn her!)For almost thrity seconds, I didn't have to think about not-puking.

Joke said...

I guess you liked it, huh?


el zed said...

My daughter, now almost 20, has read all the HPs since number one came out, when she was 10. She's back in Australia at the moment and told me she and her closest friends were camped down at our farm in the S-W of WA, taking turns reading the latest book out loud, with a whiteboard at the ready to cross off characters as they met their sticky ends! I've read the first four or five books, but have absolutely no recall, so I've started reading them again from book 1. But my copy here's been Americanised, so Ron talks about his 'Mom', and they put the rubbish in a 'trash can etc. Curious!

telfair said...

Priceless, Suse...priceless.

I am one of the few who has not yet rushed pell-mell to my local store to purchase it. I don't know what I'm waiting for. I want to read it, but there's just something about the anticipation.

Isabelle said...


I only read HP number 1 and thought it was well organised but a bit tedious, but my offspring (who've read them all) tell me that I have no taste and anyway that the later ones are better. I did read the end of the final one, though, to find out if Harry got killed.

meggie said...

Laughed you your post. Reminded me of my hysterical actions while trying to quit smoking, when I would get the kids to hide my ciggies, then threaten them with death if they didnt return them.
Final laugh came from Isabelle!

blackbird said...

I don't read them but I cannot wait for everyone to have read it so EVERYONE can discuss what happens so I know.

...if you follow me.

Stomper Girl said...

Finally! I was like son #1 when you mentioned your fears for Molly Weasley to me - I had to practically bite myself to make sure I didn't spill any beans. So were you happy with it?

Meow (aka Connie) said...

Hahahaha, too funny, but I can soooo relate !!
I loved the last book, so much so that I have started again from the beginning, and am now up to Book 4 (Goblet of Fire). They are so well written.
It's funny, though, as you start reading NO. 1, it feels as though she was writing for kids, and as you get through the books, it feels like she is writing for gradually older and older ... and the final book is very much adult, I feel !!
Anyway, have a great Sunday.
Take care, Meow

willowcaroline said...

Priceless!!! Sounds like you both enjoyed it!

Sally Forth said...

This post almost exactly replicates what happened at our house but between my husband and me while he was reading it. Love your dog, adorable! Here from bec&call btw.

Martina said...

fUNNY! I have to know who dies! No! Don't tell me!

tamara said...

Hah! I keep having to keep it zipped - dh is currently around 3/4 of the way through... I zipped through it when our wee one was ill last week; much boobing, much reading! (somehow so convenient...)

VictoriaE said...

I love that - so cute trying to get your son to discuss at 10pm, sounds like fun anyway.

bec said...

It's like that, isn't it?

Husband and I chuckling quietly, as daughter sleeps with last chapter open on her lap...

SadieandLance said...

hahah I have only just picked up Deathly Hollows and am only a few chapters in and so it's only just starting to get suspensful - I can't wait till it starts getting to the crazy I-can't-put-it-down-even-though-it's-3am bits.

Jeanne said...

I was afraid for Neville Longbottom -- my favorite character.

Was perfectly content to wait, to be noble and let the REAL Harry Potter fan in the house have it first, until I brought our copy home from Target and David whisked it out of my hands and said "See you in a week!" -- literally. Gaaah!!

samantha said...

this was like me and my husband! - saw HP5 today at the cinema - can't wait to see the next two.

Alita said...

OMG! That's a snap for our house! My dh has now finished it - he took the longest out of all of us. Now we can finally talk about it. We loved it.