7 December 2007

because there's nothing on tv tonight

This week's Friday Night Meme comes to you via Sorrow at Sills Bend, the Duck, Lorraine Crescent, Pavlov's Cat and presumably before that from a bunch of American teenagers. I'm greatly looking forward to Pav's Middle Aged Persons Meme.

1. Are you dating the last person you kissed?
The last person I kissed was my 13 year old son. So that would be no.

2. Pretend you've had 10 beers. What you would be doing right now?
Being unwell.

3. What do you want?
To see the bottom of the ironing basket.

4. Who was the last person you shared a bed with?
My husband. With whom you shared a bed. Get it right.

5. Do you talk to yourself?
Yes. I think it was the sound of me talking to myself that frightened off the kangaroo at the clothesline yesterday.

6. Do you drink milk straight from the carton?
Not usually, but today I did. Ick, how disgusting.

7. Who knows the latest secret about you?
You. Please don't tell the other members of this household that I drank straight from the milk carton.

8. How long is your hair?
Chin length.

9. Do you like Batman?
I'd run away with George Clooney in a heartbeat.

10. Who was the last person who told you they loved you?
See Q.1.

Hello? Questions 11 and 12??

13. Do you like anyone now?
I like a lot of people.

14. When was the last time you lied?
When I told Son #3 that drinking milk straight from the carton was an abominable habit and one in which you should never ever indulge.


16. Is your birthday on a holiday?
Yes. It's on International Women's Day every year, and falls on the Labour Day long weekend some years.

17. What instant messaging service do you use?

18.Last thing you cooked today?
Pork with grainy mustard. (What's the grainy one called? Not english, not french, not dijon ...)

19. Did you have a nap today?

20. Who's house did you go to last?
It's 'whose', ignoramus. I dropped off Son #1 at his friend A's house this morning as they were off to see a film (pupil free day). I met the labrador, the mother, and learnt that the cat was in labour.

21. What do you wear more, jeans or sweats?
I rarely wear jeans and I'm not 100% sure what sweats are. Sound ghastly.

22. Why is the sky blue?
Right now it's black so deal with that, kiddies.

23. Do you like green beans?

24. Do you swear a lot?
Define 'a lot'.

25. Where did you get the shirt you're wearing?

Where's question 26?

27. Do you use an alarm clock?
I use the husband mostly, except for the third Friday of the month when I have an 8am meeting on the other.side.of.town, in which case I put my mobile phone under my pillow and then sleep extremely poorly.

28. Where was your default MySpace picture taken?
I'm too old for MySpace. I do have a neglected Facebook account though and the photo was taken in the suburb where I live.

29. Do you ever snort when you laugh?
I sincerely hope not.

30. What's the first thing you notice on the opposite sex?
Is this the bit where I'm supposed to sigh dreamily "Their eyes"?

31. Is cheating ever okay?
Didn't your mother ever teach you this one?

32. Do you want someone you can't have?
Yes I want a cleaner.

34. Do you wear underwear?
Every day.

35. Do you wear a bra?

36. What Size?

37. Are you a social or an antisocial person?
Both. I don't like parties, but I enjoy being part of a small social gathering.

39. Do you have a tan?
No. Well actually, my feet and hands are pretty brown.

Questions 40-44, and 48 missing in action.

45. Are you afraid of the dark?

And 46!

47. Do you miss someone today?
I wish my mum lived closer.

49. Do you still have pictures of you & your exs?
Only of one ex I think, but lots of photos (of K and I. From my year in America. Americans photodocument EVERYthing).

50. Who's always there for you no matter what?
The dog.

PS. When he was brought home I heard all about how he and A witnessed the cat have four kittens and then she ate the placenta (which looked like a tongue) and that bit was gross. Son #2 thought he said "having echidnas" which led to all sorts of confused questions about whether they were spikey until realisation dawned.


sooz said...

I love it when you go all stern. Hilarious. I am sure the teenagers are very afraid of you. Or they would be if they weren't all off reading my space and ignoring real literature over here. I'll just pop off now and find you on facebook...

Kirti said...

Oh good lord Suse LMAO (that's teen sms speak for 'Laughing My Arse Off ')

h&b said...

I saw a cat give birth once. It exuded a gooey kind of love vibe and purred throughout.

I also saw a cow give birth. It's eyes bulged and it looked fearful of death.

I think I birth like a cow.

The grainy mustard is 'wholegrain', as far as I remember.. perhaps fucking Donna Hay knows ?

SueeeuS said...

Sweats are sweatpants/sweatshirt... Thick knitted cotton worn for athletics (in which one sweats???) and now worn for fashion or simple comfort. Picture a beer-guzzling hairy slob of a man sitting on the couch watching football. Chances are, he's wearing sweats. Or... picture me, right now! heehee I do wear them a LOT. Very comfortable.

WV dumubt. So close to dumbut. !!

SueeeuS said...

...beer-guzzling hairy slob of an AMERICAN man... (I meant to say)

Corinne said...

I just woke up over here in America (San Diego, California), anyway, I hate men in sweats. Seriously, I am from NY and NY men wear casual sweats and dress sweats!! It is disgusting. Love your blog. I found you from yarnstorm's blog :)

Heather said...

Just came across your blog, love it!! I have been looking for an Advent tradition to start with my son, and I LOVE the way you do it, perfect! Thank you!

I read the story about your son finding out about Santa, brought tears to my eyes...I still not sure what to do about how I am going to present Santa to my son...things to think about.

Kathleen said...

This seriously made me laugh out loud. Enjoyed it very much. I once saw a man in New York State that had on a red sweatsuit, pants and top, and the pants were tucked into Frye Boots (look up Frye Boots on Wikpedia)that was more than 20 years ago and we still make jokes about it.

telfair said...

This is a great meme and I would steal it, except that in no way will my answers be funnier than yours...

Kim said...

That would be "seeded mustard" or indeed "wholegrain mustard".

What the heck are 'dress sweats'? In Australia their equivalent would be the saving grace of the man deciding to wear underwear underneath.

32. Do you want someone you can't have?
I want a cleaner.

Kim's answer: Yes. She would be made in the mould of Alice.

And I gagged a little on the eating the placenta. It caught me off guard.

6.5st said...

Oh I laughed so much with this!
Every answer, brilliant.

katie said...

so glad there was nothing good on TV. would 'whole grain' mustard work? thanks for making me laugh!

Jodie said...

ooh, poor cat giving bith to echidnas - I expect would be very painful, especially if they became alarmed. Superbly funny post - thankyou

bluemountainsmary said...

You have no idea how much I needed to read this this morning.

I loved the admonishments!

Garden girl said...

thought I would read a few blogs to calm myself down from a manic weekend..the idea being that I would develop a sense of calm before bed. God my ribs hurt and I have developed a weird hiccup thing from laughing. I also need a cleaner in my life. And maybe some vodka...

Joke said...

Oh, for the sake of all that is holy...the mustard in question is Pommery, Dijon's nemesis.


P.S. My WVW is "ozbgrl" Really.