* and it turns out that that’s an Australian phrase unknown to the rest of the world. Are we a stylish nation or what?
1. The heat. Oh god, the heat. OVER IT.
2. My stupid car. OVER IT. It died two days ago, luckily in a carpark in the village, but it meant two hours standing by the side of the road in the heat (see # 1). One hour waiting for the little yellow rescue van and another hour waiting for the big white tow truck to take me to the mechanic after the little yellow van deemed me beyond help. I am now $654 poorer.
3. Toilets at car mechanics’ workshops. (See #2). After two hours by the roadside, one has little choice in the matter.
4. Certain relatives who upon noticing small knitted items in my house feel no compunction at all about saying "Well I’m sorry but I don’t see any point in an apple cosy". I guess it’s my own fault for leaving it lying around. Really, I should know by now.
5. And then the next day when watching me undertake another craft project and fail miserably, instead of being supportive and encouraging, she says brightly "Do you wish you’d never started?" which of course makes me snarl Yes, say a very bad word and throw down aforementioned craft project in a childish fit. In front of the eight year old child.
6. Houseguests (see # 4 and 5). (Not you Sueeeus! You will be delightful because I’m quite sure you don’t own a thong and nor are you
7. The heat. I blame the heat.
8. Rude people. To escape the heat I took the boys to the cinema this afternoon to see The Water Horse which was lovely and gorgeous and features more handknitted jumpers, socks and vests than you can poke a knitting needle at and was utterly delightful EXCEPT for the unbelievably rude family who sat right behind us and allowed their small daughter to talk all.the.way.through the film. In a high pitched voice with no volume control. What is WRONG with some people? The child shrieked continually (and I mean continually) What she doing?/What they doing that for?/Why he do that? and the mother ANSWERED her each time. I mean, this child spoke literally nonstop, with only brief seconds in between each utterance and the parents did not once shush her or show any consideration for anyone else in the cinema. Several people around us said Ssshhhh but to no avail. Finally, about halfway through the film I turned around (she was on her mother’s lap directly behind my seat) and said to her through gritted teeth firmly but not nastily Listen, we are trying to watch this film sweetheart, so could you be quiet now please? Thank you. To which she promptly burst into tears. So, isn’t that great? I made a three year old child cry. I blame the parents. (And the heat). If she keeps it up, one day someone far ruder than me who doesn’t say please thank you or sweetheart is going to turn around and growl shut up kid or abuse her parents or something. Anyway, she did shut up for the most part from then on, apart from the terrified sobbing, that is.
9. Insurance companies. Specifically that one whose jingle tells me I’m lucky to be with them. Because the glass panels on our solar hot water system got damaged by flying branches in a storm back in October LAST YEAR, and despite my many many telephone conversations regarding the small matter of a cheque with which to pay for new ones, they still have not obliged. Today I received a phone call from a very pleasant gentleman who informed me that he could come over first thing on Monday to assess the damage (despite the fact that our own guy already assessed it and sent in a report, which apparently was inadequate). We set a time and then I inquired as to his company’s name as I hadn’t quite caught it the first time? He’s from a pool shop. Yep. The insurance agency, despite being told that this is our HOT WATER SYSTEM that is broken, thinks it’s a solar pool heater. More angry phone calls and in the meantime we continue to stumble along with stuttering hot water from the electric back up service.
10. A bat got into the house. Bats are nocturnal you may remember, so its arrival was at approximately 3.00 am which was just great. Not that I was asleep or anything (see #1).
11. I think eleven is enough, don’t you? I’m not sure about you but I need a drink.
12. Oh wait. It’s also Day Two.