15 September 2010

the ballad of the bottomless bird

Legend has it that the Sewjourn Stork ...

was feeling a little chilly, what with being so far away from his tropical native lands* and the thought of a rural Victorian winter approaching.

the stork all set for winter

And so, once upon a time in the autumn, someone kindly made him some bright and snazzy leggings.

But he was still a wee bit chilly.

And so another thoughtful soul made him a scarf.

Ibis
Photo credit: Tinniegirl

The Stork was happy now, yes?

Um. Not quite. The Stork realised that part of his problem was a rumbly tummy. And lo, in the midst of the long hard winter he received the gift of a fish.

stork2
Photo credit: Jodie

But the Stork was not yet satisfied. The harsh winter winds of Lancefield troubled his delicate constitution and he demanded of the people a woolly hat. Preferably one that matched his scarf.

tiny aviators helmet
Aviator's helmet, with pin for scale

And definitely one appropriate for a now-grounded flying hero, long retired from the days of migration yore.

stork, with cactus leaning on him

Clothed and fed, the Stork would be content now, thought the people.

And so, the people turned their evil lust for yarnbombing creativity focus elsewhere.

cactus cosy
Note striking similarity of yarn and design feature stripes to that of the leggings ...)

But the Stork's discontent mixed now with Cactus Envy and as his rage grew ever stronger he called upon a Tempest to strike down upon the land. O, the winds howled, the rains lashed the land in horizontal needles of unbridled fury and the flood waters rose until the people wept and gnashed their teeth and it all made the front page of The Age.

And on the Sabbath the people awoke to find ...

the day the bottom fell out

... that the bottom had fallen out of the world stork.

(And the cactus bed really really needed weeding).

Sorry Jan.







* I have no idea really, just work with me ok?

Edited to add: the Aviator's Flying Helmet has been ravelled. Naturally.

25 comments:

Mary said...

The different and wildly varying stork stories have been most excellent!

silverpebble said...

Bummer.

thornberry said...

What a wonderful ballad! Shall you be setting it to music? But alas, poor stork!

peppermintpatcher said...

Certainly seems to have been a crash diet for the poor old stork.

Jo Windmill said...

A tragic tale.
I only the well meaning knitters had known the impact of their interference with nature. An all too common story, alas!
However, this is the challenge we face, as knitters are here to stay.

Stomper Girl said...

So, basically, what you're saying is, the stork broke itself? Interesting.
(But bloody good ballad, and lovely photo-journalism to accompany it)

Alby Mangroves said...

You're absolutely right, the knobwarmer... err, I mean the cactus warmer DOES match the leggins! I will admit that I actually never took any notice of the stork until Storkgate. I'm really into tragedy.

Janet said...

excellent story, the best yet. Can't see the photos with dial up (we've been slowed sniff, sniff) but I'm sure they're lovely too.

fifi said...

oh, what an absolute HOOT,
and such an adorable luttle hit, as they say in new zealand

Leah said...

I lurve the hat! And since I've recently inherited a stork of my very own, I might just make him one!

Di said...

It's been said before, but it's just so appropriate: Bummer.

Melanie said...

Bummer. Hehehe.

D'ya know, I think perhaps his issues may all have stemmed from an identity crisis... because I'm 85.2% (!) sure he's actually a crane, not a stork. No? Well, I guess he's not telling now, anyway.

sueeeus said...

Brilliant. All of it!

:)

Lo, you spin a fine tale, my friend. An artisan indeed. :)

eurolush said...

If only the storks in Germany had striped, knitted leg warmers, colorful hats & button scarves. What a lucky guy! Well. Until he lost his back end that is.

Though, he still looks pretty handsome...

Love it!

Tania said...

Any excuse for the use of 'and lo' in a post. I KNEW you'd manufacture some highly original spin. I ain't disappointed.

Thimbleanna said...

Oooohhhh Noooooo! The poor stork! And with Jan away -- a tragedy indeed. Emma wins the prize for comment -- bummer it is. Perhaps El Storko could use a faux bum? You guys are all hysterical -- I'm sure this isn't the end of the tale!

Thimbleanna said...

Oh! and I forgot to say that hat is AWESOME!!!

BabelBabe said...

what, you didn't whip up a storkbutt-holder? for shame.

Cathy {tinniegirl} said...

and that my friends, is that!

Martina said...

I laughed, I cried....Such a moving story...

peskypixies said...

ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Homesteadgirl said...

This made me smile and laugh...thank you!

Elizabeth said...

That is a very fine example of accessorizing but perhaps next time, full body armor might be required?

The Coffee Lady said...

Ouch.

Elizabeth said...

Is it just me or is there somehing...questionable...about that cactus?